my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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