My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I touched a dick in church today
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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