I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
