The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Will you blow on my dice?
honey bunches of taint.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
