Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
look no pants
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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