The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
