Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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