come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
