so that wasnt chicken after all
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
