When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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