Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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