does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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