just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
