would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize