Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
