And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
