Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
