It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
