Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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