After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
