he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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