I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
