You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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