Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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