Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
