Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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