I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
