All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
