I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
