never play flip cup with pint glasses
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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