I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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