just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
