NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
COCAINE IS GR8
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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