i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
