Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
