For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
no you cant smoke seaweed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
