a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
