She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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