Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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