Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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