I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
