i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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