belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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