Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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