I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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