Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
