I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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