So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your cock deserves a montage
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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