Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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