Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
