ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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