Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
this is an emotional support booty call
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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