I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
