now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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