butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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